Let me ask you a question you probably don’t get asked everyday and that is “Do you love yourself?”
If you answered “Yes”, then lets answer the next few questions:
I recommend you get a pen and paper and answer these questions honestly and thoroughly. Don’t rush. Take your time. You are worth it!
- What behaviours reflect the love you have for yourself?
- Are you happy? If not, why?
- Are you healthy? If not, why?
After completing these questions, see if your answer has changed. If you answered yes and you love yourself then awesome! Keep it up 🙂
If you answered “No” to my initial question, Why?
What has happened or not happened that has made you feel this way?
On a piece of paper, list some of the reasons why you do not love yourself. Take your time. This is important.
What if I told you that until you come to a place of unconditional self love, you would always feel unhappy, judge yourself, never feel that you do enough, have enough or are enough? Would you still choose to not love yourself?
What does unconditional love look like?
Unconditional love for self is total self acceptance. It is looking at yourself in a mirror and saying “I love you, I accept you, I forgive you, I appreciate you, I am here for you always.” Try this. This is a powerful exercise that can help you see the parts that you do not accept about yourself, which is the ego talking, not the true authentic self.
The ego says, “I will love you when………fill in the blank……you lose weight……you get a better paying job…..you get married…….you buy a house…….etc. The ego operates on conditions, hence conditional love. Opposite of the love that I am asking you to have.
I am asking you to connect to the authentic love that exists in you. Choose to love yourself NOW. When you make this choice, your thoughts become more positive which affect your actions being more loving and self serving, which essentially changes your life for the better. Why wouldn’t you want that for yourself? Self love draws in more of what you want and desire in an equally matching and loving way.
What happened and why don’t I love myself?
You must understand that as children, our parents were our first teachers when it came to love. Some parents are better teachers than others. The relationships we had with them and the one that was modeled to us by them played a very important role in our definition of love.
Ask yourself this:
What did my parents teach me about love?
Do I have the same beliefs today?
I am modeling these same beliefs today?
These may be positive or negative, however, very important in how your thoughts and beliefs were shaped. If you are not satisfied with your belief or it is not serving you, then work to change it. You do not have to limit yourself because of your past. Change your beliefs and see your life change.
If you are ready to jump into love, reach out as I can help you one on one come to this place. You will be healthier in mind, body and spirit. It is a journey, and definitely worth the trip!
Further reading on love can also be found in the book Loveability by Robert Holden.
Dr. Jen Cisternino, ND